Wednesday, June 8, 2011

If I don’t feel an earthquake within the next week I’m moving home.

As I’ve contemplated how often I should update my blog, I logically thought that I’d do it every time my cereal fell off of my fridge as a result of an earthquake.

Well, it’s been just under a month, and I haven’t even felt so much as a light push from The Father of Tectonic Plates, so now I’m just gonna do it whenever a decent amount of new stuff has actually happened.

For your convenience (and the convenience of others) I’ve chapterfied this entry.
Read the whole thing or choose your own adventure.

I. General stuff
II. Stuff I’ve done
III. Stuff I haven’t done yet
IV. How does this all make you feel, Tyler?

I.               General stuff

Well I live in Burbank, which is the media capital of the world. Warner Bros., Walt Disney Studios, Universal, NBC, and countless other studios are within walking distance. Also within walking distance are a million smog-check stops, Mexican food establishments, Mexicans, and expensive grocery stores.

If you haven’t seen my latest short film, check it out here for a tour of my home. (sorry for the watermark, no one's perfect).


Hollywood is about 20 minutes south (or 60 minutes south in traffic) and the coast is about 30-45 minutes to the West. Indiana is roughly 2-3 days to the East.

Here are some things I’ve noticed / learned about LA:

-       I’ve seen a lot of people made almost totally from plastic.
-       It won’t get really hot until August, and last year it was 115 F in October.
-       Traffic really is as bad as they say it is. Sometimes I forget I’m in traffic and think I’m in a parking lot. I get out of my car, pick up a few things from the store, get back in my car, and I’m all like “holy crap this isn’t a parking lot.”
-       Everyone is connected to the industry here by one degree. I’ve met Ron Howard’s college roommate, the guy who built Oprah’s house, an actress from 7th Heaven who now works at a Miami Fitness, the little sister from “That’s So Raven,” and a ton of actors who live on food stamps.
-       The city constantly sneaks behind me and takes money out of my wallet. I’ve spent a few grand in less than a month already.

II.             Stuff I’ve done

-       Auditioned for a “Sara Lee” commercial
This was fun. By no means am I a trained actor, but getting a callback for a role alongside 4 other guys who pay for acting school is pretty neat. Yes, their mothers are there negotiating with agents on the phone, and yes, they probably cry when they get home because they never had a real family, and a real childhood, and blah blah blah they’re still as rich as the day is long.
-       Modeled for an online T-shirt company
You can find scary things on Craigslist. This gig wasn’t one of them. Some quick cash for putting on a few T-shirts and acting like I’m from The Jersey Shore. GTL4LYFE.
-       Auditioned for a CBS reality dating show
Not my finest moment. I walked in to the casting call acting like a cocky little guy who can’t stand girls with bad grammar. Oh and I took off my shirt. Keep an eye out for me on CBS this fall. This one was a career killer.
-       Bought a car
I have a really cool Italian car guy who is best friends with the F word. Like, they’re tight. He got me a 2002 Kia Spectra and it drives smooth like gravy.
-       Went to the beach
Venice Beach to be exact. It was cold, there was a lot of people, beach experience: take 2 will be happening soon.
-       Found some friends
Through church, through a small group, through my roommate, through industry connections, through neighbors. LA people are fun.

III.           Stuff I haven’t done yet

-       Had a job interview
These are coming. I have a few leads but it’s been call after call day after day and nothing is in production yet. I’ve got contact info for 95 different shows and they will all get my resume. THEY WILL. Even you, Dancing with the Stars. Sigh.
-       Had fun at the beach
(see “Venice Beach” above)
-       Hiked
I live right under Griffith park and a short drive from The Hollywood Sign. LA has overwhelmed me with laziness and while climbing those things seems like a blast, so does Chewy Chips Ahoy cookies and a day full of Mario Kart. I’ll get there before diabetes takes me.
-       Gone out to a swanky club
I just don’t have $200 for new clothes and $400 for drinks/cover for SkyBar yet. But that’s why I’m taking surveys online earning up to 5 cents each time I complete one! MSNBC mentioned it once so it has to be legit, right?? –cries-

IV.            How does this all make you feel, Tyler?

Well thank you for asking but I hate talking about my feelings! Just kidding I love talking about my feelings. Well, I’ve been getting antsy not interviewing for jobs yet. It’s ok though, because no one is in production, but seeing my money drain faster than my iPhone battery –iPhone users nod to each other- it makes me nervous. I have enough to sustain myself for awhile, but I really don’t want to get to the point where I have to move home. That’s totally premature to say, but I know of way too many industry hopefuls who have to go back to their version of Fort Wayne, Indiana and harvest corn. But I’m going to do everything in my power to resist the corn. Even if that means I have to live in Kevin Spacey’s basement.

More to come…

Sunday, May 8, 2011

California has a lot of people in it and a lot of warm and a lot of cars.

A week ago today I trekked out to the Indy airport and flew to LAX.

After getting on the wrong bus and ending up in the wrong city (I swear, I'm not usually that bad at traveling... I've been all over Europe! .... stop looking at me like that!!) I have to admit, things did start slamming into perspective. This city is huge. And I'm sort of alone... I could easily stay home and gather another few grand in savings at Pizza Hut... but then my blood pressure would rise tenfold, I'd have to go to the doctor, get put on meds, watch my diet, exercise regularly, and probably fill out a lot of paperwork. There would be so much paperwork. So, no matter what, I'm pushing forward.

I arrived at my hostel pretty late, and it turned out to be someone's house in the 'Harlem' part of North Hollywood. Got up to go to the bathroom and discovered an illicit farm in the backyard: we're talkin' weed GALORE. And Galore is not a word I use lightly.  

The next day I checked out 3 places to live. All three were sponge worthy, but one in particular stood out. My own room, a first floor apartment, walking outside to a beautiful view of the hills, and a neat roommate. And I use the word "neat" EVEN MORE CAREFULLY than the word Galore. Signed a lease and now I'm locked in!

The locale is Burbank, California and is just a quick jog from all of the major studios and a slower jog (but a jog all the same) to Hollywood. 

Yesterday I said goodbye to Ball State. I guess I'm still in that purgatory state because I feel nothing. Maybe I just need time for it to sink in, or maybe Aunt Carol was right and I don't actually have a soul.
But  I've made some great friends. The kinds of friends you can talk to and fall well below surface level. Friends that are extremely difficult to find. The type of friends that I really hope aren't rare in California.

I shoved some business cards in a few faces and left with a little more job-related hope than I came with. Gathered some leads... now time to play Milton Bradley's "The Waiting Game."

Bang Bang Orangutan,


p.s. Happy Mother's Day. Tell your mother I love her.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

A Summary

A few things need to be explained first.

"Taking everything but the cat" -- I'll be taking everything I have with me to LA, which isn't much. I am not taking my cat because he is too old and has a huge vomiting problem. I'm just sparing my future carpet.

"Uncle Tyler..." -- I just call myself this sometimes. And now, you do too.

To those whom I haven't yet pummeled with information about my future, yep, I'm moving to the City of Angels in a few weeks. No, not Gary, Indiana, Los Angeles! (Gary was my second choice).

Here are some facts/concerns about my move:

I have $8,000 in savings.

It doesn't feel like enough. I still need to buy a car and find a place to live. It should get me through the first 3-4 months, though.

I've applied to 55 different TV shows as a basic-level assistant.

NONE! Even though the job outlook isn't the greatest (you know, "the economy" and stuff. And the housing bubble. Yeah. The housing bubble). For some reason I just have this feeling that I'll find something soon. Confidence is key!!

I visit LA May 2nd and 3rd to scout some homes and some homies that live in those homes.

NONE! I'll be fine.

It's gonna be a fun ride. This is the official start of real life. In the coming weeks I'll try to post how things are progressing out there for all my friends back home. Although, come on now, we all know that I'll post three times and then get blogger's disease and let it just sit there until 2014. I will try not to! Positive thinking. Positive thinking.

See ya when I get back from my visit. I've got some important things to do now...

*cleans up cat's puke*

*kidding around about cleaning up cat's puke because my parents actually always clean it up*